5 Myths associated with Domestic Violence

Since October is National Domestic Violence Awareness month, I thought I 'd mention 5 common myths associated with domestic violence.

Myth #1: You weren't hit or physically battered; therefore you weren't abused!

You don't need to hit someone to be abusive. Verbal and emotional abuse can be just as much damaging, if not more so. Verbal abuse, according to author and internationally renowned verbal abuse expert Patricia Evans, is defined as:  

• withholding, bullying, defaming, defining, trivializing, harassing, interrogating, accusing, blaming, blocking, countering, diverting, lying, berating, taunting, putting down, edifying, discounting, threatening, name-calling, yelling and raging.

Emotional and Verbal abuse is REAL abuse. Further, Evans claims that in many ways verbal and emotional abuse is worse than physical abuse, as it wears the victim down and breaks her spirit.

Myth #2: Victims suffer from very low self-esteem and/or are mentally ill

Not all victims suffer from low esteem; in fact, their self esteem may have been intact in the beginning but the abuser's tactic is to slowly chip away at a person's self esteem.

Myth #3: Abusers suffer from some type of mental illness, personality disorder, has anger management issues or other problems.

Domestic abuse is usually a "learned behavior". Sometimes a batterer may also suffer from another disorder, which certainly can make things more complex. However, domestic abuse is a separate issue and must be dealt with accordingly.

Myth #4:  Abusers abuse because they"lose control" and are helpless to curtail their violence. They just have no self-control.

Abusers are masters of control and manipulation. Abusers in fact, use "control" very well. For instance, a husband may be calm and collected at work, yet feel entitled to come and batter his spouse and/or children.

Myth #5: It can’t/will never happen to me!

Unfortunately, no woman is immune. Domestic violence affects 1 out of 4 women. Domestic abuse doesn’t discriminate. It happens within all age ranges, ethnic backgrounds, and financial levels.

Domestic Abuse is all about Power and Control

Resources, If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, please contact any of the following:
National Domestic Violence Hotline
website http://www.thehotline.org/
phone#   1−800−799−SAFE(7233) or TTY 1−800−787−3224.

YWCA Support Network For Battered Women 
phone# 1-800-572-2782 
website http://supportnetwork.org/

Some tips on escaping an abusive relationship http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2011/09/28/5-ways-to-escape-an-abusive-relationship/

This post was inspired by Jamie Patterson's book Lost Edens. I received a complimentary copy as a member From Left To Write book club. Opinions expressed are my own.